All Souls’ Day 2011
Happy All Souls’ Day! Happy Day of the Dead Pt II! Again, may all souls find love, peace, and joy.
Let me speak once more on my home, and as promised, spirits. I mentioned that my Holy Guardian Angel had showed this home to me. As I had said, it is a place we used to visit often in visions or dreams. We would go there for hours a day, often, for years. It was simply a hotel, in my mind, with a certain name, a certain look, and certain qualities. Then, as I was searching for a place to move out on my own, away from negativity- I find that this place is real! It is not exactly the same as in my visions, but it is really so close that it is one of those almost unbelievable, striking examples of synchronicity. It has the same name. And to think, it’s existed since like 1900 and I didn’t even know. And it is so wonderful- it has bars, various stages or rehearsal rooms, a restaurant, and an organic café/convenience store. Not to mention it is near so many other lovely things like theatres, festivals, bookstores, a library, transportation, and so on.
As I had said, this used to be where the big bright stars would stay during the golden age of Hollywood. Now it is still beautiful, if old and in need of repair, just like Hollywood. It is still charming, cozy, and magical- and yes, now quite haunted.
I do not engage specifically in ancestor worship as so many do, but I can understand it. I do not feel close to my own ancestors, really, who are disparate and violent, more than any other spirit. But I do feel the ancestors of all the world. We are all one tribe, one family. Some, in ancestor worship, will focus narrowly upon their own locale. I do not have this “luxury” by any means. Now, I do not want to call it narrow-minded. It is only like rooting for your local team. But I see the larger picture, of how we are all interrelated, and how we are all one global, galactic community. We all share the same ancestors. And, as the universe goes on through timespace, evolving past light and atoms and planets and stars to these autonomous beings upon Earth, and humanity, as the generations go on and on, we have more and more ancestors on the Otherside who have lived and died as humans on Earth. And I often sense them. And they are not all as benevolent as many ancestor worshippers hold their own particular ancestors to be. But that is what Purgatory is for, and why we pray for them, especially today on All Souls’ Day.
Yet, I did not sense them nearly so often until I moved here. As I said yesterday, I took great pains to purify my home. But that doesn’t mean it’s all roses and butterflies here. Firstly, I found that there was a bit of a vampire infestation in this hotel. Just like there had been when I had gone to this hotel with Ganymede. They were a different sort of vampire than the Hollywood types that we had met in our visions- these were the real-life sort. And they were not nearly so fun as the sort Ganymede and I had adventured around. They were nothing but bloodsucking vermin. Every night I would kill one, or more. I don’t know why they’d even come around. I began to have lots of funky dreams about being Buffy the Vampire slayer. I occasionally still do. They would come to my home even though they were uninvited and I had specifically banished all evil spirits. But I would kill them. My neighbors were not so proactive as I- they would give in to the vampires rather than fight them properly, and become their little blood dolls. But eventually, the vampires learned to stop coming into my room.
And I did not have nearly so many visions until I moved here. I specifically noticed a great spike in hypnagogic hallucinations. I first had these in college when my sleep schedule was completely fucked up thanks to staying out at rehearsals till the middle of the night, then doing homework until the wee hours of the morning, and catching a quick nap before going to class, that sort of thing. So yes, I had completely understandable hypnagogic hallucinations, which are a very common type of hallucination that happen to many people. They are the sort that occur between waking and sleep. As far as one is concerned, they are reality at the time. Of course they are reality, as the Now is always reality. But then, you “wake up”. It is like seeing reality from a different angle. When I graduated, and went back to a normal sleep schedule, these hallucinations stopped. But then I came here. And they began again with a new intensity greater than before, though I sleep quite enough.
I have had many visions of the spirits here, though I have not yet ventured to the thirteenth floor, or asked the security guards to let me stay in the ballroom at three in the morning. You see, this hotel is most specifically haunted by the architect’s daughter, who died just as he finished the building. He named it after her, and there is a picture of her hanging over one of the pianos. And she comes to the ballroom at three in the morning. Some people go in, and they can handle it. Some run out changed and frightened. I also have a friend who is part of a ghosthunting team. He came here so often that he is now banned from entry. Hum! I wonder.
Besides just that young lady, I cannot imagine how many other spirits of those who have died here, or those who have killed themselves here, must still be hanging around. Every now and again there is a dead body found, every now and again a new drug overdose is discovered. And, more rarely, there is a suicide such as a jumper. I have seen this, too, in my visions- I watched a man jump, and felt his feelings, and the feelings of all those around him as they saw him fall onto the ground.
I have seen a few strange things such as apparent telekinesis, but really, I more often feel things happen. Feeling is a much stronger sense for me than sight, when it comes to the Otherside. I mentioned that no evil spirit can stand before me. For instance, I had an experience in which, despite the purification I had done to my home, many evil spirits tried to visit me. Many is not the right word. I do not know if it was just because of my location, or if it is the way the world was then- but it was as though the entire world was made up of the sort of monsters that children are afraid will pop out of their closets. Horrible, undefinable shadowy nightmarish entities. And all the world was composed of this. And it began to close in upon me like a great envelope with teeth, consuming me and crushing me. And I let it do so, at first- and I felt that I had no body. And then when it seemed as though all the world would be darkness and evil forever- I began to exercise my will, and I began to expand my heart chakra’s energy, repulsing all these demons. My love and light extended beyond me and permeated all of existence, eventually. It replaced and transformed all of these evil spirits into only goodness and love. And then… because I felt completely in control of the situation… I let go again. I let them come back. And the evil spirits came back unto me to close in upon me and destroy all the world again… and again, it was just as frightening as a nightmare… but I was still in control. By this point I could tell that I was hypnagogic, and I had such control that I could keep myself in that state rather than go to sleep or awaken. I repulsed the demons again and again, remembering what it felt like to have control over all demons until it was old hat again. Finally, I put them at bay until the world was back to normal. And the vision was over.
Well, I must say, I am glad to have this temenos. It is helping me and all the world that I affect. My Temenos to Ganymede.