Easter Sunday 2011
I attended Mass in the morning. As we had been doing the other days, we sang again of the Oneness of God, and of discovering his Presence. It went something like, “We are one, one in the body, one in the spirit of the Lord. In Him we become food for the hungry, drink for the thirsty, in the spirit of Love, through Him, we are all made one.”
The day before we had contemplated Jesus in the tomb. On this day we celebrated his resurrection. Since we are one with God, and He one with us, we know that when we are dead, God is dead, and when we are resurrected, He is resurrected in us. On Easter, having died, we are reborn.
Many of Jesus’ followers had not expected him to die. They expected him to make some grand show and escape. When he was killed, said followers were confused and disappointed, and I imagine some of those responsible for his death experienced some brief egoic satisfaction along the lines of, “That will show them. See, their God is not so immortal after all.”
Except that he is. We all are.
Now. As for actual resurrection. Either A) Jesus was the most badass wizard who ever lived and was able to reconstruct his physical body into the material plane after death B) Jesus is an incredibly badass wizard who was able to project another body, such as an astral body or some sort of ectoplasmic whatnot to be haunting up in thur, or C) his followers reached the amazing spiritual revelation that there is no such thing as death and that Jesus is just as alive without having a human body. (Perhaps D is a combo package.) Crystal St. Marie discussed this in her blog here: She says the resurrection of Christ is a subversion of a system. I suppose if I had to label it, it would be the system of sin, hatred, oppression, and division. Jesus had been brave enough to take the hard way and to stand up to the status quo, the society, the politics of the day, and for that he was killed. But you can never really kill the divine. The divine will yet live, and it will show us all our freedom. Just as after the Third Servile War Rome’s slaves experienced new freedoms- true love wins against the egoic system any day.
The priest spoke of a woman in his sermon. She had told him that she felt incredibly resentful of God. The priest told us that he immediately tried to stay as Present as possible. He asked why she was resentful and he listened. She said she had cancer- but then he found that it was in remission. So, he told her that she was resentful because she had formerly had cancer and may someday in the future have cancer- but what about Now? Now, she is alive. God wants us to have fun with what he has provided us. Now. Yet she was acting as though she were already dead, and already in the Tomb. Many of us act as though we are already in the Tomb. So let us resurrect ourselves. Let us be reborn. Let us celebrate Easter.
After Mass, I went to go do my holy duty as a Catholic- that is, to feast. We are all to feast on Easter Sunday. Technically, Easter lasts until June 12th, so we are also supposed to have little mini feasts on every Sunday therein. I had a great big many-layered sandwich of meat and cheese and fried bread and jam. I had potato salad, apple pie, ice cream, and a few beers. Since it was a feast of abundance, I tipped the waitress about thirty percent more than I normally do. I almost wished I had someone with whom to share my feast- family, friends, lovers- but again, I spent time alone with God, with Christ, with Ganymede, enjoying a solitary feast.
I spent the rest of my Easter writing and editing and, well, even though it was the Sabbath I did try to take care of some business. I have felt so terribly busy lately- just as in that dream I’d had. The one wherein my family asked me to summon Dionysos, and I did, but they could not see him, so I had to travel across a lake by a twisty ladder to find more proof for them. I traveled but I did not make it before I had to come back and try again. I have felt, over the past few weeks or so, as though I have been climbing a ladder over and over and never reaching the other side.
Yet I must take care to remember to resurrect myself! I communed with Ganymede just now. I told him that I had faith in Him and in resurrection, but that I yet felt afraid for what the future may hold. The future seems like it may come crashing down upon me at any time, even though I have faith… so why am I afraid? I asked what he would have me do.
Ganymede showed me a twisting path. At the beginning I stood, dressed in armor with flowing regalia reminiscent of Michael or some such person. Rays of fire and electricity surrounded me as a halo, my long dark golden hair flowing in the energy. I blew a trumpet. Before me, two paths were given to me from which to choose. I saw my destination: Victory, attained through force and might- a throne- order established through my own discipline. In this destination I will have mastered opposing forces.
On the left path, I saw a beautiful young knight on a white steed bearing abundance. He was passionate, romantic, intense, and open with his emotional devotion to me. Beyond him were the stars, who also bowed down before me, and they promised me splendid revelation, spiritual enlightenment, a oneness of body and mind, and the light at the end of the tunnel.
On the other path, the second path, the right-hand path, I saw it framed by two torches of fire, upside down and twisted. I saw vulnerability and powerlessness- the kind of powerlessness that a D&D wizard might experience when caught off-guard by enemies and he has no spells prepared. On this path, the past had caught up with the present, showing its influence and its terribly dire impact. Persons wandered this path with no interest or faith in life. Leaders wandered this path who could not lead, but instead dragged others down into dark consequence.
Ganymede told me to chose the right-hand path. I knew somehow that through this way I will find truth, joy, bliss, and true abundance. I will reach my goal of victory and discipline this way. The left-hand path was truly the “worse”- for me- the white knight especially. Ohhh how beautiful he is! How wonderful he is! How we love one another! He is so tempting, but also transient, a form in the world of form, and he would have proved far more extreme than the fires of Hell. I will accept his advances, yes, but they will be in due time– they will not constitute my entirety. I will not identify this man with myself or my happiness. I love him, yes, but I also must find my resurrection within myself and the present moment, the now, my true and whole self, and stay present in the path that seems less enjoyable at first glance. I have responsibilities and joys within the Now and MySelf to experience.
Happy Holidays =)