Wednesday, February 9th, 2011 – Supervivere
In the war of my youth, I remember killing. I did not want it to be a part of my life, but it was unavoidable. I accepted it. I must kill to survive. Sometimes, I must destroy an enemy, or destroy their resources. It did not upset me, at first. It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re so busy facing death and working out hardcore. One might even enjoy the rush. Then it hits you like a wave of disgust and horror, and you try to pretend it isn’t you.
One moment, you’re an innocent, and the next, you are watching absolute carnage. I admit I was a little shocked the first time I witnessed all that gore. And I admit that sometimes in battle I have been afraid- fear is not unknown to the warrior; sometimes one is so afraid that one would rather die than continue. But like I said… I’ve learned how to move beyond fear and pain in my own self-confidence, at the very least. I have faith. Thus I easily accomplish what is necessary.