January, 2011 – Aries says War comes a little early this year.
I have begun to relive a war. Not literally… it is not as though time rewound or something and I am actually re-living the moments. Really I use so many metaphors I forget to be serious sometimes. No, I am still Kora moving forward through this January in Los Angeles. I am reliving the war memory by memory, and the events do play out… but in new, different ways, in my life. Once again I am on the western edge of the world… if I had to do this, it had might as well be now, here by the ocean.
Last time, I was fighting against an enslaving force. I was not so very human, but then, neither were they. These entities enslaved the mind, then the body. I would normally never have bothered fighting- I would have left it to someone else- but I was one of the only beings capable of doing this. I would also have never bothered fighting if not for the fact that, no matter how hopeless, it was the right thing to do. The “enemy” fought only for power, not out of hunger. They sucked love itself from their thralls, and therefore, all the world around them. They lived on fear and order, but order is nothing in fear. I did not want to see that happen to myself or anyone.
It is not that I am… some kind of thing that wants to eradicate all evil and institute good. That would be the end of free will. Also I find the notion of eradication and fighting in general suspicious. But I fight nonetheless.
One would think that it would be painful to relive a war. I suppose certain moments are- when they manifest as some new moment in my waking life. I am glad for it though, sometimes. I wouldn’t trade certain moments with my companions for anything, and it is good to receive certain reminders.
I remember in the beginning when I lied to my group, my companions. Not a good idea. But I did it anyway, and I almost paid very dearly for that. So have I lied in this lifetime… a different lie, but just as twisted and dire. N.B.: It’s not good to hide stuff from the group.
I have been listening to The Jimi Hendrix Experience a lot lately thanks to it being edited for a soundtrack around me… it is hard not to move when I hear that music. Well, okay, I didn’t try not to move… who would? Time to dive back into the ocean.