White Widow Solstice – Happy Christmas Eve!
What a wonderful holiday season we are having. I would have posted on the solstice, but I was really far too busy celebrating to do any such thing. Honestly, every weekend for the past several months, I have been “partying for a living”. What a roly-poly year. I began it unemployed and having no idea what I wanted to do next. Then I worked in fashion. Then I worked selling idols. Then I began to party. That will change come the new year as well. Though it was certainly a fun time- cleaning and relaxing and going to the theatre on weekdays, and partying from morning till barclose on weekends. Well oh well. Whatever comes next will be better, I’m sure. And I hope everyone had just as lovely a solstice as I did.
I spent my solstice at a party, of course, and this one with my closest friends and family. My friends who are my family, that is. Theatre friends. There was a beautifully decorated tree (thank goodness the Germans imported that evergreen tradition), lights were hung everywhere, and there were holiday dishes galore. Garlands and stockings and masks adorned the lovely fireplace, burning bright on the darkest night of the year (with the windows open, no less).
Some of us retreated to be off by ourselves, and the Gandalf pipe was produced, because someone had brought something very special for the holiday! I hear some people have their first really spectacular, wonderful experience with that flavor. It can come on a little strong, but we were all friends and family, so there was no harm done. I witnessed a girl who was supposed to be auditioning for another man in the room the following morning… she said, “Should I be doing this?” But we said that we were pretty sure she was winning the audition with this right here. She performed for us further by balancing her beer can on top of her head as she entered tree pose. I was impressed.
For a few brief, shining moments, I came close to a dark, cold place with Ganymede. All the world seemed to be telling me, “This is now. This is everything. This is where we are supposed to be. Merry Christmas.”
And now that it is Christmas Eve, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas too, Ganymede, and all those who live with us. I have usually liked Christmas Eve a little better than Christmas itself- it is dark, but cozy. I usually do not sleep, but instead read by candlelight, by my lonesome. I have the candles lit now, and I today I am indulging in a couple of other traditions. I also like to go to midnight mass, and I like to watch It’s a Wonderful Life.
So, since it is Christmas Eve, I would like to speak on one of my favorite wizards- a fictional wizard, George Bailey.
Some might ask, “What, George Bailey? How is he a wizard?” Well, firstly: That person would not be remembering that we are all wizards, since we all express will through spacetime, and that’s really all you need to know. But, secondly, Bailey declares himself such in the movie. After the depression hits, he puts off his dreams yet another time and does that which he has never wanted to do, in the business of nickels and dimes, and he saves much. “We’re a couple of financial wizards!” Thirdly, he has earned the mark of a wizard on the right path, and therefore he would be worthy of initiation in many a tradition: He achieves contact with his holy guardian angel.
I have spoken of Bailey before, and my identification with him. As I have said, I ultimately see through the illusion of identification, but I still think it is fun. Therefore let me extrapolate. I mentioned Bailey before because I was feeling a bit tired of financial battles- they seem… little, to me, though Bailey’s father would disagree.
Bailey is completely selfless. He wants to be more, but he accepts less. By accepting less, he becomes more. Still, he struggles with depression, and the film enters a pretty dark place on Christmas Eve. He contemplates throwing away “God’s greatest gift” as the angels say. But, by saving his own angel, he is given a chance to see things in a new light.
Bailey learns how rich he is, how abundant is his life in wonder. He learns that he has never failed, for, as his angel tells him, no man fails who has friends.
Yet there is something more I would like to mention. I have mentioned that it was Luken who helped nudge me into magic- or at least to performing it honestly like the wizard I am. Though I know many wizards, I rarely practice with them. I often learn this or that from Luken, and it is Luken with whom I practice. He is not my guru, certainly- I have no guru, something I often think about… would I want one? I have thought so. I have wanted that connection. But I must accept that I will do without any human guru.
At any rate, after I first began learning, that first Christmas Eve, Luken and I watched It’s a Wonderful Life. He was seeing it for the first time. He liked it. He told me it was very good that I should watch it, for he felt Bailey to be the same type of wizard as I- a certain type known to those who know the Arcanus Mundus, the Secret World. Those who know it are the awakened. The magi. So… I will tell you about this type of wizard, the type I learned of when I first stumbled into the path of wizardry and studying the occult. A category of wizards into which I entered as I awakened into their fold.
We follow the path of purging, of suffering. We pass through the gauntlet. We deal with demons and enter their realms. We have experienced the cacophony of Hell. If all the world is a dream, and all the wizards dreamers in it, we are the ones who have nightmares. Our magic is not flashy, but we would not have it any other way. We usually hold no masters. We may use our power for either good or evil. We look good. We are well-groomed. We have etiquette. We have self-discipline. We master the Self, then we master Others. We are the subtle, charismatic or manipulative dark ones, whose favorite spheres of magic are the mind, and spacetime, while matter is… immaterial. At least, I see through illusions and the material is a less-attractive sphere of magic for me. It is not that I do not appreciate it.
Also, is it any wonder that the man who channeled George Bailey, Jimmy Stewart, was not only an accomplished actor and soldier having served in WWII and the Vietnam War, rising to Brigadier General in the Air Force, but that he also was a magician’s assistant? It is not so strange. He was a performer.
Well, I am off to mass soon. But there is one last tradition Luken and I have begun, as we watch something after It’s a Wonderful Life. I will share the video with you. Yes, what else would Luken and I watch together but clowns?