The other night I was out with some friends from work having margaritas called “La Verdad” on special. One of these friends was new, and new to Los Angeles as well. We tried to give her some advice on where to go to meet friends and learn skills.
Our server, our Ganymede for the evening, was a mom-type Mexican lady in a fiesta dress. She goes back to Mexico all the time to visit her own mother, and has never had a desire to go farther than Mexico or California. We discussed “La Verdad” with her on various levels. I had just been to see a mummy exhibit in town, but I had not mentioned it. Yet somehow she brought us to the topic of Mexican bog mummies anyway. How interesting. Also interesting were the Book of the Dead and some fertility ritual hieroglyphics I saw at the exhibit, but I will discuss that another time.
One of these friends with us at dinner that night is a man who considers himself a wizard. The kind who casts spells and practices certain kinds of magic. Jimmy. When one looks at Jimmy one might think that he is some kind of hippie who grew his hair out after Vietnam, but of course he is a young man. He is one of those fellows who loves conspiracy theories. Also, the poor dear had just discovered his lover with another man in their bed in the midst of Candlelit Activities and is now looking for a new place to live.
Jimmy began to go on again about how people need to “wake up”, though I am not so sure if he is approaching it in a way which would make others receptive. We youths are not the sleepers of olde, and it does not take a full ten minutes of explanation for us to understand that everything is a light vibration before we move on- in that regard, we were already awake; a study of physics had made my friend’s insistence preaching to the choir. A Mormon explained this to Jimmy. One does not need to insist that the advertisement in the plexiglass for “La Verdad” on our table is an object of light and one does not need to order us to wake up- we were not disputing reality. In which case, where should my friend Jimmy go from there?
Where he did go from there: He made a wish upon his margarita, downed it, opened his eyes, and said that his wish had not come true because he was still alive. I did not feel too sorry for him, but I did want to make him feel better rather than worse. I told him that I had been there too, and that I had many times wished to escape reality. But I also told him that we both wanted to be there in that moment in that booth that night, or it would not be happening. He wanted to be alive, or he would be dead- such is fate. He could not disagree.
Meanwhile the new girl had become fascinated, not only by Jimmy’s discussion of reality but the surrounding conversations as well. Everyone seemed to want to discuss something spiritual. And religion too- we discussed a few of those. Comparing, contrasting, highlighting information from experiences in our own respective cultus. Eventually the new girl came into possession of the knowledge that I could take her to the Otherside quickly and easily, with no bodily side effects. Faster than Jimmy could, and much more safely. And this reminds me of another mom-type Mexican lady, a more practiced and native shaman than I. She had helped me to open this ability. The new girl asked me, happily and innocently, if I would take her.
Why does this keep dropping into my hands lately!
I was surprised. I asked her many questions… why did she want to go? She was curious. She wants to know what everything feels like. What was her purpose? Her intention? What did she hope to get out of this? She was curious. I told her it would be intense. I told her that her body would be just fine on the material plane, but that she would die, briefly, to be reborn, and that she would possibly be psychologically affected. Was she ready for that? She said yes. She said yes many times. She said she was in a good place. And I mean a good place all around- right now, she has nothing to worry about and nothing to bother her. I told her that is an excellent place to start. So I decided to do this for her. She seemed happy, pure- she did not need an intention, spiritual or no. She would get whatever she needed from this, and since she was ready, there was no reason for me not to help.
I did not do it for her just then. But I would. That night, however, we followed Jimmy to some private concert featuring a French band of some genre with which I am not familiar. It seemed like a lot of chaotic forte and screaming with pianos and guitars… some people were really into it, but I don’t think my margaritas were strong enough for that. Not that I don’t like forte and screaming. It just seemed a little unpolished and unvaried. Still, so many people were having a good time. And then we all went home and crashed, except for Jimmy, who was the only one of us with energy remaining, and who was sad to see us go. I do hope he receives proper comfort.
Just now, on the first day of Hanukkah, after working all day with the new girl, I took her to my home, to the roof. Since she had assured me many times that it was her will, I agreed to guide her. I laid down some simple protective ancestral spells and we began, sitting next to each other in lotus. I assured her that I would be with her the entire time, and that her body would be safe.
First I noticed that she slouched immediately. I said, “You can lay down if you want to,” and held my hand behind her neck as she surrendered to gravity very quickly. I next moved to uncross her ankles, but she did it for me before I could touch her, laying in śavāsana. She began to laugh. She called the experience “weird”. She asked if she should talk. I told her that she did not have to, but that she could if she wanted to do so. She did not, so we enjoyed the silence- or rather, the sounds of the city (oh great, I thought to myself- she’s going to have ice cream trucks in her journey!).
She returned and notified me. She was so happy and enjoyed it so much. I was happy for her. I told her that not everyone felt so positively about the Otherside, and from her description it sounded like her time there had been wonderful. She said that she had not felt as though she could move from her position laid down there at all, and that it had felt fine like that, but that she also wanted to do ninja moves at the same time. She said it had felt like Alice going to Wonderland. She had felt that she was falling forever. She said it felt like a dream. She said she felt she was part of a merry-go-round spinning like a ballerina. (She used to study ballet.) So I asked, and she agreed, that she was not only part of it- she was the merry-go-round, too, of course. I said that all sounded normal… it is the same, and different, for everyone… but I understood what she meant. Wonderland, falling, spinning, and dreaming- life is a dream, and we are falling through space, our molecules spinning and gravitating toward the planet as it spins around the sun, and as the galaxy arms spin, and then there’s the uni-verse, the one-turn.
There had been music which had changed drastically. I told her an ice cream truck had been playing “it’s a small world”, but that had gone away and been replaced with sirens. She said she could not tell if the music had been coming from her own being or not. She said that she had felt like a child when “it’s a small world” played- as she was this merry-go-round, she had felt vulnerable, but as happy as a three-year-old playing. Like it was all just a very fun game she was playing, this spinning.
Then when the sirens came, she was asleep on a picnic blanket from her childhood, and an old-fashioned ambulance floated above her and carried her away in the blanket (which was also a part of her being) like some kind of stork. And while she laughed, she could not tell why I was not laughing with her. And after she had come back, she could not see how anyone could ever find death to be terrifying. Oh… what a lucky girl to be so open to positivity and love.
She asked me if this feeling, this state, of union and awakening ever goes away. I said no. It changes, it grows, it opens, but it never goes away. Once you start, you can’t stop. She was pleased. She asked if she could do anything for me, and I told her to do someone else a comparable favor someday.
My Christmas tree has been erected (Twice- my Mao, Destruktor Kitteh, knocked it over once and half the balls fell off. But I was able to get it up again and save Christmas! >] ). A few of my idols sit around it wearing festive red. I chanted the proper prayers over a menorah. Though really I suppose I could have chanted anything, I have a fondness for Hebrew. My roommate has interrupted me chanting it before by chanting his own gobbledygook… I know that gobbledygook would work the same, but still, manners, boy!
Oh well. I am still trying to embrace life with the fervor I want to be able to use- it’s not perfect yet. This may still be a stressful holiday season. Yet at least I know you will be with me the whole time and helping me in your own way, Ganymede. Sweet dreams.