Friday, May 28th, 2010 Diary Entry

I have been encountering quite a lot of ego and shadow references from every side of life- in fact, the synchronicity is building up so much that there is almost no point in taking note of it so much as observing it.  I will encounter something that seems like an almost identical reflection from moment to moment.  So I will note a couple of things here for now.

I had been discussing ego and shadow with a “pagan” (who self-identifies as Hellenic Polytheist)- the second to shut down communication with me “for life” as he terms it; perhaps I will write more on that later if I feel it- and he was… well, I will use the word “defensive” only insofar as those of you who have read Tolle will know what it means.  For the most part we were amicable.  I was trying to work with him in communication- I would hope that, by my sharing with him, he would share with me- and he did tell me something I’ve heard many times before.

I am pretentious!

I used to have a boyfriend who would tell me that all the time- pretentious, pedantic, all the p words.  Luken has often thought this as well… he knows it is not entirely my fault but says I should work on it.  I suppose this part of the ego would be the part that says I’m plus and you’re minus so let me talk down to you and give you this so that you will be plus as well.  So, how do I accept and love and transmute this part of my shadow?  I hope that this is the last mask I have to learn how to take off… but Dionysos is, after all, eternal.  I pray to him that he may help me to be able to strip away all that is not me.  I pray he may help me to be able to remove my pretentious qualities so I might just Be and serve Him best.

This pagan believes in evil and that he must do good, and that by striving to fight evil he will, eventually, after a waiting period, be granted access into a pleasant realm after death.  Those of you who have read Tolle or anything similar will know there is no real point in waiting and that Heaven is available now.  Of course, I don’t believe he liked that bit- he believes only in plurality and in having-to-wait.  He does not acknowledge the shadow.

I have indeed just read another healer’s blog who had just been reading Evil:  The Shadow Side of Reality.  No coincidence.  Many other blogs have been discussing the shadow as well.  I have also recently been watching Buffy:  The Vampire Slayer in order with Luken, and, among other “coincidences”, we had just come to an episode in which a woman who has just realized that all this paranormal stuff exists says, “So you weren’t lying” to her lover, Giles, and Giles responds that it wasn’t ONLY him being pretentious.  He said he was pretentious, but usually right.  Hah!  So obviously those of us who feel a connection with the source and with oneness are not so… unaccepting of evil, shall I say, but we all have our moments.  Anyway, there are also those who are really committed to fighting themselves!  And we have to accept that too.  Even if they do not want to partake of the paradoxical reality entirely, but deny parts of it (and shut down communication, and put up ego walls when we could be sharing so much fun information instead).  I suppose I made the mistake, as I did with the last pagan who did this, in thinking that he wanted to  share.  My bad again.

So, Ganymede, though to-day I ought to call you Dionysos- I’ll be going out tonight with Luken to a rather special channeling and healing ceremony about which I am very excited.  So about that pretentious shadow.  We Catholics have  a saying- “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.”

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~ by korakaos on May 28, 2010.

4 Responses to “Friday, May 28th, 2010 Diary Entry”

  1. Hello,
    I was reading that exchange which you refer to having with my brother (note, that would be he…not she ;) ) and a few things stood out to me.

    Yes, it does sound like you’re attempting to convert to your way of thinking, something which often does not go over very well but I believe my brother had already well covered that area with you.

    The question I had was in regards to your telling him ‘you are me’. Now that poses some technical difficulties. Does this mean that when one masturbates, they are, in actuality, having sex with everyone else? Because that’s essentially what you’re suggesting.

    Also, the burdens one carries with them from previous lives. If we were all the same we’d all have each other’s burdens and previous experiences and surely you know this is not the case.

    In any case I’m not out to be abusive or mean. Just simple curiosity on my part, I assure you. ;)

    • Hi there =) Brother! So he has a penis… haha, noted. I’ll edit. Now, as for your question. I welcome your curiosity. Do not worry about how you might appear. I don’t worry about that- so long as I always attempt to exercise my true will, which is love. I welcome you with open arms; feel free to be as vulnerable as you please. I pass no judgments upon you (or if I do accidentally I dismiss them).

      It’s… a question I’d never thought of before, honestly. At least not explicitly. But you are correct. When one stimulates the pleasure organs and participates in the energy of orgasm, one could say that one is having sex with everyone, yes. Because you are everyone. Very simple. One is not having intercourse, but one is experiencing orgasm in the one life.

      Also, note I didn’t say that we were all the same- at least not exactly the same. Not in this reality, anyway. Is every petal on a lotus flower the same? Is every section of a mandala the same? No, they are individuations, but they are all a part of the same mandala. Just as there is no way to separate the petal from the stem from the root from the earth from the lava from the empty space and stars and galaxies and God- all part of the One life.

      As for carrying others’ burdens… to an extent, one does. To the same extent that all colors are simply different hues of the same color. But you are pink and I am purple- I see things through my eyeballs and you see through yours. But I am you am the sun am the candle on my desk am a flower growing by the Euphrates, because we are One. I will make a suggestion (this is where I come off as proselytizing, but I am only suggesting if you care to hear) that you take a look within (especially at your shadow) and realize how interconnected you are with All others.

      Namaste =D

  2. Greetings once more,

    Heheh, so I guess that would make even those who are celibate promiscuous if they so indulge themselves. An interesting thought, but also disturbing if you consider that ‘everyone’ also includes one’s parents and grandparents…children etc. ;) Not the most arousing thought, certainly.

    I have heard your theory before, one described it as being ‘different facets of the same stone though I must resepctfully disagree. As far as past life and karmic (if you use the word – if not whatever applies to you) burdens go, every healer I’ve known and worked with encourages only to pick up one’s own burdens and not to touch those of others, or else we are doing the work for that other person, which is discouraged.

    If we were all one, this logically would not matter. As it seems to matter very much this does illustrate individuality to the objective observer.

    Please explain your idea of ‘shadow’ to me? I ask because some see shadow as a bad thing, I personally do not, but I would just like to understand your definition before going further.

    On another note, my brother isn’t a Pagan, but a Hellenic Polytheist. Just forgot to point that out before :)

  3. If the difference in labels between Pagan and Hellenic Polytheist means a lot to him in terms of their separation I suppose I could note that he identifies as such, though such identification wasn’t quite what I was going for. I had had other pagan matters on my mind and that is why I used it in the post. I suppose I must have figured he identified as some more particular label, as I do occasionally, but oh well- I needed the more vague term.

    Disagree as you please; that does not change reality. And yes, one may encourage a soul to heal as best suits it as in best accordance with the will of the universe. I do not mean to imply that you must take all of humanity’s sins upon yourself and go get tortured, for instance. (XD someone already did apparently, anyway, and if he did, since he is you, you’ve taken care of it.) I only say that everything is One. And yes, that means that when you masturbate you’re having “sex” (if masturbation=sex) with your grandma and Hitler’s dead decomposed corpse somewhere. Such is the law of the universe. Every particle in your body is connected to every particle of everything else by a force that holds this current reality together.

    Now, rather than have ONLY me explain the shadow (I’ll do a crude job), I suggest reading either Jung, Tolle, the Tao Te Ching, the scriptures (but they use heavily metaphorical language that require using a different filter to spot the mentions of shadow- they may not use the word itself), any other number of philosophical works or psychology writings, or maybe some physics, which is natural law, or simply contemplate the nature of light and shadow and reflection. I think the last one is quickest if you do it right.

    Or! or!

    Basically- since all is one, shadow is merely a reflection/projection of the Self. If you fight it, you create fear- Hell. If you love and accept it, you create love- Heaven. So that’s my really crude way of saying it, but yeah. There’s really no best way to articulate the concept. One may know it, though. One may be it.

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