Thursday, May 20th, 2010 Diary Entry
Last night was another wonderful night for Dionysos. I watched healers and bards compete and I saw Vishnu waving at me with four arms from the world of dreams, wherein he was encouraging a young woman to stop the dysfunction which was making her unhappy, and instead go out into the wide chaotic world and accept whatever she might find there. This pleases me. I am glad to know so many healers. Also, I hardly ever see Vishnu. It was a delightful surprise.
Afterwards, Luken and I ran across a bum in Hollywood who was ranting about Scientology. Luken didn’t want to interact with him but I couldn’t fucking help myself! I mentioned Crowley. Whoooops. I will repeat nothing else here except that the bum complimented me on my style, saying he liked the Grecian stuff :) Compliments are both uplifting and uncomfortable for the ego, since it’s usually someone hitting on me- much to Luken’s PRESENT chagrin- they do it right in front of him! I told the bum it was more a mish-mash, of Mediterranean, African, and American (and more Roman than Grecian!). Oh, the melting-pot. Then he rode away, mumbling… I dunno.
Today an unconscious person wounded me (Father forgive him). I performed a purgative ritual (which I had been going to do anyway), during which I chanted, ॐ, in order to utilize the vibrations and make myself feel better. It worked. I also then entered बालासन and prayed to Dionysos- it is one of the only times I have done so aloud and with words (it is usually Ganymede otherwise)- that he might come to this person and grant him knowledge and heal him… and really, heal all the unconscious. Which is a damn tall order. I began to cry and apologized to him for doing so and ruining my chanting and my praying- of course, it is not really ruining. He does not judge; He is without judgment. And one of the lessons He teaches us sometimes is not to apologize- except when we hurt others, and then, it was only our own unconscious accident anyway. I remembered a dancer with whom I once danced and who apologized often… she even once wore a shirt to a movement class that said, “I’m Sorry”, which of course we all noticed, and told her she need not worry. Haha! Oh, Dionysos. For the sake of a girl like her I would chant all day. She took risks, and was hurt, and probably hurt others by accident- but I love her and those like her enough to do almost anything for her. The thought of her gave me strength.
And now it is time to join Shiva in meditation.