Friday, March 12th, 2010 Diary Entry
There have been a few things you have been trying to tell me, Ganymede, but I do not know why. I will mention this one for now.
A week or two ago, for some reason, I had been thinking of Baby Jessica. I don’t know why. The memory merely dredged itself up from the depths of my brain. A few days later, it did it again- and again. So I looked her up. Seems she’s doing well. Her rescuers have suffered more than she- one paramedic committed suicide after a struggle with PTSD. It is… somehow indeed primaly frightening, what happened, but to think it had such an effect. And to think that so many people were willing to get behind her when CNN used her in constant coverage to get their first big ratings break or whatever… when humanity is not as willing to save itself as a whole. Ah, the power of identity. And, just now, Luken was watching SNL- we hardly ever watch TV but he does love comedy. There was a skit in which that Kenan fellow was singing lots of jazz songs- and during part of his “improvisation” he started singing about Baby Jessica for just a few lines, and an actress was wheeled across the stage smiling and waving from inside a prop well. CURIOUS, Ganymede. Why would you want me to notice it?
Also, I wonder what is the best way in which to thank Mars- or all the others who have helped me recently. Surely creative works would be the best way, but you know that I have felt less than motivated towards such. And I know that I wouldn’t be doing good work unless I were enthused by definition, haha. Oh well- that will come when and if it does, but in the meantime, I should indeed like to show my gratitude.
And I resist the urge to complain about the dirtiness left over… and to ask for that which I do not have… even if I want it. The dirtiness… is depressing, and without that which I want I still feel ennui, but I know that I am still a functional person and that I am just existing. That is what there is to be done.